Monday, March 31, 2008
Dinnertime Struggles
Ok moms out there I need your help!!!!!!! We are trying to get AJ to try new foods and after 1 very LONG drawn out dinner tonight we are clueless as to what to try next. Last night he did great and ate a whole piece of pizza. Tonight we had spinach and cheese raviolis and he wouldn't even eat the 2 bites we asked him to and demanded to be made something else. We didn't give in and now he's in bed, exhausted after almost 2 hours of crying/screaming and probably very hungry. Jonathan made a chart for him where he has him eating foods of his choosing a few days and then whatever we make on other days. Sounds confusing but he definitely understood what we were doing. Don't get me wrong he's not eating junk all day, I think he has a healthy diet,it's just always the same 10 things! I'm tired of making 2 separate meals for dinner and now Eliana always wants what's on his plate and that is obviously not a good thing. Any advice??
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6 comments:
So, you know I have the same problems with my kids-- and I am still stumbling my way thru it.. but what I have found works so far for us is this:
I put the days meal on a plate in elf sized portions.. itty stinking bitty. They have to eat what is on their plate and then if they are still hungry, they can have something else to eat of their liking... like cereal, or crackers, or something I dont have to cook seperately. This worked to just get them to eat what I served, b/c they knew after they could get something more. Believe it or not, as they tried different meals, they were asking for more of my food rather than the other food...we still struggle and somedays (i.e. meatloaf) it is darn impossible to get them to eat even the little food... but we are leaps and bounds more than we used to be. I do increase the portion size if I know its something they ate before. Hope it helps!
Have you seen Jessica Seinfeld's new book, "Deceptively Delicious"? Basically, the idea is to sneak the fruits and veggies into things and then their taste buds sort of become used to the tastes without them even knowing it. For Asha, for example, whenever I make her an egg, I put pureed cauliflower in them. Sometimes I add pureed spinach or kale and we call them green eggs. You can hide broccoli in home made chicken nuggets, spinach in brownies, etc. Kids LOVE smoothies... have you tried those? You can hide tons of stuff in smoothies, so then you feel ok knowing AJ has at least gotten his nutrients for the day, whether he'll eat dinner or not. I think you are doing great by not giving in. He'll eventually eat if he's hungry! Let him throw tantrums. Soon he'll realize he's not going to get his way. Also, you can make things fun by, for example, cutting sandwiches into fun shapes, letting AJ help you cook, talking about different types of foods and why our body needs all different colors of fruits, veggies and other foods. Let him color pictures of different foods, make a collage out of pictures of different foods, etc.
If you are concerned that AJ is not getting sufficient nutrients, speak to your pediatrician about it. Perhaps you may wish to give him a multivitamin.
Don't stress! It's probably a phase and he'll grow out if it!
First off as some of my friends with a lot of children remind me, & I them on occasion, NO CHILD HAS EVER WILLINGLY STARVED THEMSELVES. I know Becky was in the same boat as far as cooking several different meals. So she may have some insight. I think you did the right thing by standing strong & not giving in. I know it isn't easy & I know because he's always been on the smaller side you've been concerned about him eating. Let me just reiterate what I said above. No child has ever willingly starved him/herself. You can bet he'll eat a good breakfast in the morning.
I like zen's idea, but again while you aren't cooking something separate, I know for me, I'd still be having to get them whatever it was they wanted because in my house they can't reach any of the cabinets where food or dishes are.
It is definitely a struggle on many fronts, I'll be praying that God will give you wisdom on what to do & strength in implementing it.
Hugs, -G
p.s. like the new blog- have you checked mine out?
Hi Amy
"This too shall pass"
When Shannon was AJ's age it was mac & cheese, mac & cheese, Mac &cheese, get the picture? Now she likes spinach (go figure, it took me 40 years to eat the stuff).
When Shannon was in her "vegan" stage we went to the library and picked out a couple of kid books with vegan recipes and went home and made them together. Now she can't get enough fried chicken.
I agree with Zen, small portions on small plates.
Judging by the picture you posted of coloring eggs, try AJ in the kitchen making something for himself and for everyone to try.
Good luck, you'll be fine.
Love cousin Sue
Well Amy, I've had one boy who will eat anything. And one boy who wont eat much of anything. It's a struggle. Did you see that video during the Mom's group at church? About the pile of sand? If not, ask Michele Murphy for it. Video worth watching. I think at AJ's age give him some achieveable eating "goals" (ie: not going for steamed spinach right off) and simply give him a reward (probably non food related) afterwards. Whatever would be a good motivator. In taking my then 6 year old to counseling w/ a child psychologist she advised that incentive / rewards have to be super simple and straight forward and as immediate as possible. I think your chart for AJ is too complex based on what I learned for 6 year old Benjamin from the psycologist. If he eats a different food - he gets his "special reward". Think simple mouse and cheese reward system. She also said rewards should be as immediate and straight forward as possible. I do agree that a child will not willingly starve themselves ... although Ripley will go quite a long while w/o food I must say b/c I've tested the kid. The nut. Bottom line ... and where I've ended up ... you don't want the food (and family dinner event) to be a major blow-out negative. then he'll just associate food and family w/ a negative experience. Best wishes. Sooner or later ... they will eat other foods. :) xo Sandy
It seems every family struggles with this. You've got to find what works for you and try to let go of some things. I figure as long as they're still growing physically, emotionally, and mentally then they're doing okay nutritionally. I give them multi-vitamins. I let them use ketchup on whatever they want. They do eat fruit, so I make sure they have several a day to make up for not eating veggies. I know their taste buds change and just accept that. Nicole didn't eat veggies for a while and now she'll eat broccoli! Matt who ate everything before now eats no veggies. Let them try their veggies frozen - like corn and peas. My kids seem to prefer them still frozen (eliminates the prep too!). They have to try what I'm serving before I'll give them something else. And I let them spit it out if they don't like it. They can only have dessert if they eat what I serve - that's a big motivator for Nikki; Matt doesn't get it. Depending on my mood, if I'm ready to eat by the time they try and decide they don't like the food, I'll make them wait before I get up to prepare something else. I've just accepted that at this point in life, making different meals is part of the routine. I just try to keep it as simple as possible - the backup is usually frozen foods I can just pop in the toaster oven or microwave. Hang in there; I have a feeling these food struggles will be nothing compared to the future struggles in the teen years! :)
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